Mile 1 = 8:45
Mile 2 = 8:49
Mile 3 = 8:41Mile 4 = 9:02
Mile 5 = 9:00
Here is the daily battle taking hold of my thoughts and actions: where do I compromise and where do I give in?
This has been the theme for this entire re-dedication to running in my life. I want to make time to train the right way. But I'm competing not just for race day, but also for a fulfilling life. The challenge has been compounded by my need to take care of the people and organization where I work. There is much to do; I've been overly dedicated with my time and the projects I've undertaken. I'm not complaining because my focus at my job is my conscious, deliberate choice. It's my career development and reputation. The faith I have is that the investments I'm putting in now will pay me back in other rewarding endeavors.
Then the guilt sets in. Life is too short to miss moments with my daughter, Lily, growing up. I don't ever want to look back at where I am today and regret my lack of commitment to her and my wife.
And then I will run.
I logged a five mile nocturnal run after staying late at work, eating dinner, and putting Lily to bed. I was one of two (yes, someone else was out in the shadows) crazy souls dedicated through the darkness. My mind was focused on not giving up. Powering through. Keeping up and improving my pace. Centering on the positive. Blocking the negative. Offering up the battle for others. I can honestly say I feel better with each run. My times and distances seem to indicate progress.
Tonight's racing ruminations will lack cohesion since I'm writing this post at 11:37 p.m. It's past my bedtime. Then the battle will begin anew, another day.